{"id":1692,"date":"2019-05-10T07:48:44","date_gmt":"2019-05-10T06:48:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.manchester.ac.uk\/religion-law-and-the-constitution\/?p=1692"},"modified":"2025-11-14T11:14:31","modified_gmt":"2025-11-14T11:14:31","slug":"una-mary-parker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.manchester.ac.uk\/religion-law-and-the-constitution\/2019\/05\/10\/una-mary-parker\/","title":{"rendered":"Una-Mary Parker"},"content":{"rendered":"

[et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” fullwidth=”on” next_background_color=”#000000″ global_module=”322″][et_pb_fullwidth_menu global_parent=”322″ _builder_version=”3.17.6″ menu_id=”8″ submenu_direction=”downwards” fullwidth_menu=”off” background_layout=”dark” module_class=”main-navigation” \/][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”off” specialty=”on” prev_background_color=”#000000″ next_background_color=”#1d1d1d”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ specialty_columns=”2″][et_pb_row_inner locked=”off”][et_pb_column_inner type=”4_4″ saved_specialty_column_type=”2_3″][et_pb_post_title _builder_version=”3.17.6″ featured_placement=”above” locked=”on” parent_locked=”off” date_format=”j M Y” \/][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.17.6″ background_layout=”light” parent_locked=”off”]<\/p>\n

\"Una-Mary<\/p>\n

We were extremely sad to learn of the death of Una-Mary Parker, a brilliant interviewee of ours for the Balancing Beliefs <\/em>project.\u00a0 Una-Mary\u2019s life was fascinating, and we have included the link to one her obituaries below.\u00a0 As well as a highly successful career as a journalist and author, she was also famous as an etiquette expert.\u00a0 Although to many of us, this might at first sound a rather niche preoccupation: either to be written off as one of those charming British anachronisms, like horse-hair wigs for judges, or more negatively, to be condemned as a perpetuation of class privilege and social exclusion, the fundamental basis of what Una-Mary practised, as well as preached, was kindness.<\/p>\n

There are certain houses, offices, cars and other personal spaces which ooze precision and correctness to such a degree that entering them is a daunting experience. However, despite being the private domain of an expert in good manners and protocol, Una-Mary\u2019s residence was nothing like this. Tucked just around the corner from Harrods, Una-Mary kept an incredibly welcoming home, and even though arriving on a stranger\u2019s doorstep to quiz them about their views on religion, belief and the British Constitution is not exactly the most natural of situations, our hostess had the gift of dispelling awkwardness.\u00a0 Noticing that one of her interrogators was obviously cold on a brisk (or more accurately, freezing) spring day, she hustled us over to the fire-place and made sure that we had hot drinks.\u00a0 Afterwards, for almost two hours, she chatted as though we were old friends, and it was a real privilege to listen to her insights, memories and observations on the changes which she had witnessed in British society over the decades.<\/p>\n

The world in which Una-Mary grew up was dramatically different from the one we now inhabit, and there are many aspects of life in the early twentieth century which we would not want to experience first-hand.\u00a0 We are grateful for a whole range of legal rights, not to mention social freedoms, which our recent ancestors were denied and which we fortunately enjoy nowadays. \u00a0Until half way through last century, women could not legally complain if their husbands raped them, casual racism was common, gay people faced prison for having sex, and being beaten with sticks or slippers was a routine part of many childhoods.\u00a0\u00a0 Equally, the availability of antibiotics, mobile phones, central heating, the internet, as well as a myriad of other scientific developments have added to the comfort, convenience and even average span of our lives.<\/p>\n

Nevertheless, this does not mean that all of the habits of our grandparents should be dismissed.\u00a0\u00a0 In an era with unquestionable focus on the self, it is valuable to be reminded of the virtues of thinking about other people\u2019s needs and feelings. The good of being considerate, thoughtful, and frankly sometimes doing things which we don\u2019t want<\/em> to do, but which are nevertheless good for those around us, is worth hanging on to.\u00a0\u00a0 It is no accident that most religious, spiritual and ethical pathways commend caring for others.\u00a0 In a world which often loudly encourages to us grab the biggest slice of cake, we should treasure the voices which politely suggest an alternative path.\u00a0 Offering the plate to our friends in the first instance is not really about doing the correct thing so that we can look sophisticated, it is about taking an active interest in their happiness, instead of exclusively obsessing over our own. If we want to achieve an inclusive, cohesive society, reflecting on who our behaviour touches others is essential, and as a result, Una-Mary\u2019s practice of encouraging kindness is one which we would do all well to embrace.<\/p>\n

Related Articles<\/strong><\/p>\n

Obituary: Una-Mary Parker<\/a> The Independent <\/em>(29\/4\/19)<\/p>\n

My Fair Lady Plays A Courtesy Call<\/a> The Telegraph <\/em>(29\/3\/08)<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_post_nav _builder_version=”3.0.106″ in_same_term=”off” show_prev=”on” show_next=”on” prev_text=”Previous” next_text=”Next” locked=”on” parent_locked=”off” \/][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”3.0.106″ show_avatar=”on” show_reply=”on” show_count=”on” background_layout=”light” header_font_size_tablet=”51″ header_line_height_tablet=”2″ custom_button=”on” button_icon_placement=”right” button_text_color=”#ffffff” button_use_icon=”off” locked=”on” parent_locked=”off” button_text_size__hover_enabled=”off” button_text_size__hover=”null” button_one_text_size__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_text_size__hover=”null” button_two_text_size__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_text_size__hover=”null” button_text_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_text_color__hover=”null” button_one_text_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_text_color__hover=”null” button_two_text_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_text_color__hover=”null” button_border_width__hover_enabled=”off” button_border_width__hover=”null” button_one_border_width__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_width__hover=”null” button_two_border_width__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_width__hover=”null” button_border_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_border_color__hover=”null” button_one_border_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_color__hover=”null” button_two_border_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_color__hover=”null” button_border_radius__hover_enabled=”off” button_border_radius__hover=”null” button_one_border_radius__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_radius__hover=”null” button_two_border_radius__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_radius__hover=”null” button_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=”off” button_letter_spacing__hover=”null” button_one_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_letter_spacing__hover=”null” button_two_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_letter_spacing__hover=”null” button_bg_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_bg_color__hover=”null” button_one_bg_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_bg_color__hover=”null” button_two_bg_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_bg_color__hover=”null” \/][et_pb_text admin_label=”Related posts” _builder_version=”3.0.106″ background_layout=”light” locked=”on” parent_locked=”off”]<\/p>\n

Related<\/h1>\n

Related posts:<\/h3>
<\/div>
<\/div>
<\/div>

Michael Kennedy QC<\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/a>
<\/div>

Professor Dame Jocelyn Bell Burnell<\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/a>
<\/div>

Iman Irfan Chishti MBE<\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/a><\/div>
<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”3.0.106″ area=”sidebar-1″ orientation=”left” show_border=”off” background_layout=”light” locked=”on” \/][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Connect Title” custom_padding=”0px||0px|” _builder_version=”3.0.90″ background_color=”#1d1d1d” module_class=”footer-section” prev_background_color=”#ffffff” global_module=”380″][et_pb_row admin_label=”row” global_parent=”380″ locked=”off” allow_player_pause=”off” parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on” parallax_1=”off” parallax_method_1=”off” parallax_2=”off” parallax_method_2=”off” parallax_3=”off” parallax_method_3=”off” make_fullwidth=”off” use_custom_width=”off” width_unit=”on” use_custom_gutter=”off” make_equal=”off” module_id=”footer-row” _builder_version=”3.0.89″][et_pb_column type=”1_3″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Contact Us Title” global_parent=”380″ background_layout=”dark” text_text_color=”#ffffff” parent_locked=”off” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” background_size=”initial”]<\/p>\n

Contact Us<\/h4>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=”Contact Us” global_parent=”380″ text_text_color=”#aaaaaa” parent_locked=”off” background_layout=”light” text_orientation=”left” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid” module_class=”contact-us” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” background_size=”initial”]<\/p>\n

+44 (0) 161 306 6000<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Find Us Title” global_parent=”380″ background_layout=”dark” text_text_color=”#ffffff” parent_locked=”off” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” background_size=”initial”]<\/p>\n

Find Us<\/h4>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=”Address” global_parent=”380″ background_layout=”dark” text_orientation=”left” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid” module_id=”address” parent_locked=”off” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” background_size=”initial”]<\/p>\n

The University of Manchester
Oxford Rd
Manchester
M13 9PL
UK<\/a><\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Connect Title” global_parent=”380″ background_layout=”dark” text_text_color=”#ffffff” parent_locked=”off” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” background_size=”initial”]<\/p>\n

Connect With Us<\/h4>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_code admin_label=”Social Media” global_parent=”380″ parent_locked=”off” _builder_version=”3.17.6″]<\/p>\n