At what moment did you realise you were transitioning into one of the most significant milestones of your life? It doesn’t always happen when you collect your keys or attend the Freshers Fair. In fact, it feels rather fragmented, each day, all the new things you do work together to create this mix of freedom and uncertainty that leaves you wondering if you’re where you’re meant to be.

As an international student from a boarding school, transitioning from strict regimes to a completely new country to being completely on my own was truly a feat. You’ll sometimes find yourself thinking about how far away home really is, missing the simplest things like the smell of the food in the kitchen, the shuffling of family members around the house, and life in university can be loud, chaotic and bustling with activity, but it was the quieter nights and stillness that was where it found me.

My first step into finding my place was joining the Malaysian Society. There’s a unique kind of comfort in meeting people with the familiar unspoken rhythm of conversations. My first time attending an event, it offered a familiarity that softened the homesickness with the warmth of my home language, food and so much more. This did not just apply to the familiarity of my home country either, throwing myself into a mix of different societies helped me feel more like I belonged, the more people I met that shared the same passion and interests as I did.

The architecture community in the Manchester School of Architecture is one I dare say has become my second family. If you study architecture, you know that people warn you about the long nights, studio deadlines, and never-ending models, and unfortunately, they’re right. While that may be true, you often don’t think about how with all these jaw clenching experiences, you meet some of your closest allies that understand every bit of the pressure that you face. There’s a comforting intimacy in spending hours (and hours!) in studio, sharing snacks as you work, complaining about working the printers that created a sense of belonging I never experienced before or expected so soon.

Whilst a lot of these experiences were academic, transitioning to university pushed me into learning things I had never done before back home. Some of these being navigating a new city, banking and budgeting, even being comfortable doing things on my own sometimes. The biggest skill I learned that continues to take a big place in my life now is cooking for myself. It first started as a budgeting strategy of course, but as time went on, I began to cook to combat my homesickness! Dishes from back home can be rather elaborate, so practising and refining recipes became a huge new hobby that I still do even now in my final year.

At the end of the day, I grew to love trying new things and experiencing things I’ve never been able to before, even if it’s something as simple as going on solo walks. Each new experience has moulded me into the person I will be and just reminds me every day that growth doesn’t have to be some big transformational life-defining event. Sometimes, it’s just going for it and doing things out of pure, fun curiosity.

Looking back on my first months of university, I couldn’t tell you about single events that helped me transition. I remember the ache of missing home, burning the midnight oil after my digital model didn’t save, saying yes to the most unplanned day trips, but at the same time the steady, growing confidence in facing everyday knowing that I may be on my own, but I am not alone. Transitioning may not have been easy, but it was honest and I would not have changed anything.

Written by: Sonia Alfred

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